Ken and I are likely going to keep “Rose” and “Emmanuel” for middle names, but are now considering new first names for our kids. He and I have entirely different taste in names, so it’s been hard to come up with ones we both like. We likely won’t make up our minds for sure until we meet them, but I think it would be nice to have a short list of names we like.
What names do you like for our spunky 3 1/2 year old girl, and 5 year old sweet boy?
I’m a part of a wonderful adoption message board — a safe place for those of us who are adopting to talk about joys, frustrations, and paperwork blah blah blah that no one else really cares about. Recently, another adoptive mom posted this video of Francis Chan illustrating what it means to live a life that is worthy of a “well done” from our Heavenly Father.
Pretty powerful stuff! I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life worthy of a “well done” rather than just hanging on to the safest things I know.
Philippians 3:13-14, NIV “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Just Love Coffee reached 4000 Facebook fans (thanks to many of YOU!) and to celebrate, they are offering a “buy three bags, get one free” sale. For every bag purchased through our online store $5 goes toward our adoption! If you’re close to Murfreesboro, you can also buy directly at the store, tell them our names, and they’ll also credit us with $5 per bag purchased.
Plus, you’ll be getting coffee that is second to none!
At Just Love Coffee Roasters, they carefully roast coffees without using automation or computers during the roast process, but instead carefully roast every batch to perfection using smell, sight, sound, touch, and taste. They are always searching for the best Fair Trade, organic, and shade-grown coffee beans available. To ensure that no slave practices were used in your select coffee blends, choose “Fair Trade” options. While the strict infrastructure is simply not available for every type of coffee they roast to be Fair Trade, the heart of Just Love Coffee is to help those in need, so fair labor practices are sought out, even if they cannot achieve the “Fair Trade” certification. Every delectable cup of Just Love Coffee you drink has a portion of its proceeds go to someone who could use a helping hand. In their first two years of business they have given over $200,000 to adopting families, non-profit organizations, and the arts. (Including us!)
This is the perfect weekend to give Just Love Coffee a try! Buy any three 13 oz bags of coffee and get a 4th bag free TODAY AND TOMORROW ONLY. The free bag will not show up on your order, but will be added to your box when they pack it for shipping.
Two Thursday mornings ago, I pulled out my old embroidered suede coat out of the back of our coat closet. I had bought that coat my in PA school when I realized that I needed something that could be both warm, and semi-professional looking. It had since been relegated to the back of the closet by newer coats. “I need to donate this to Goodwill,” I thought, and put it on for what was probably going to be the last time.
That afternoon, I wore the coat to Mercury Courts, where our students do weekly health workshops for people who are transitioning out of homelessness. We’ve been going there every fall and spring semesters for 3 1/2 years. I’ve learned a lot of names, hugged a lot of shoulders, answered a lot of questions, and learned more about poverty than any book could ever tell me. The most important lesson that I’ve learned is that poverty is not primarily economic, but lack of resources is often symptomatic of other problems– poor relationships, poor health, inability to delay gratification, and especially a lack of self-esteem.
As people start coming to our weekly workshops, it takes them a while to warm up to us, and this has been a difficult semester as we’ve had an influx of many new people scattered amongst the residents who have been with us for all three years. So I work hard to learn their names, to know their stories, to hear their fears, and to love with no expectation of anything in return. I want to be the face in their life that lights up with joy when they enter the room, and over time, their faces light up right back at me. I may not be able to help them each financially, but I can offer my time, my respect, and be a conduit of God’s love. And I do love these residents dearly and consider them some of my favorite friends.
On that suede-coat-wearing Thursday, the room where we hold our workshops was especially warm, so I laid my coat on a side chair. After the workshop was over, I helped the students load out the room, and then I returned to retrieve my coat.
But it was gone.
Half of the people from the workshop were still in the room, so I asked them where my coat was.
Silence.
“Come on folks,” I thought, “I have been coming down here for almost 4 years and you know that I would give you anything just for asking. But don’t steal from me!” Threats from the administration of Mercury Courts went unanswered, and I went home without a coat.
More irritated at the loss of trust than the loss of a soon-to-be-donated coat, I drove home exasperated.
“I can’t believe they stole my coat!” I whined.
“Was it really YOUR coat?” the Lord whispered.
“No, it wasn’t. It’s your coat. Everything I have is yours, Lord.”
“Sometimes I call you to places where your coat — and a whole lot more– will be stolen. But that doesn’t mean that you weren’t called to be there.”
God and I have been reminiscing about that old coat, and about lots of other areas of loss that I’ve experienced in the last year. Even the current yearning to get our kids out of the Congo reminds me that Kingdom work is dangerous work.
In Matthew 5 in the NIV, Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Poor? Mourning? Persecution? Being insulted? Lied about? None of this should be unexpected in Kingdom work. In fact, if we’re not putting ourselves in positions of some sort of danger to our possessions, jobs, time management, pride, etc., perhaps we should question whether we’re really doing Kingdom work to begin with. After all, if we’re not stretched beyond ourselves, do we really need God?
God calls me to the perilous path to bringing people to Himself, rather than safety and comfort found on my red microfiber couch, making a difference to no one, or even to bless the already-blessed. God has asked me to weekly plant myself in a community where I am the outsider. He’s asked me to pursue a less-profitable career than I could. He’s called us to adopt from the world’s poorest country. It’s not about me, it’s about helping others to hear the call and know the love of Jesus in their lives.
Jen Hatmaker in her book “7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess” says,
“I don’t want to consume the redemption Jesus made possible then spur the methods by which He achieved it. Jesus’ kingdom continues in the same manner it was launched; through humility, subversion, love, sacrifice; through calling empty religion to reform and behaving like we believe the meek will indeed inherit the earth. We cannot carry the gospel to the poor and lowly while emulating the practices of the rich and powerful. We’ve been invited into a story that begins with humility and ends with glory; never the other way around.”
When I returned to Mercury Courts last week, one of the regulars whispered in my ear, “I heard your coat got stolen. I’m sorry. Please don’t stop coming ‘cuz someone stole from you.”
Stop coming? I’d never dream of it. The fact that someone stole my coat lets me know that there is more work to do. Someone at Mercury Courts doesn’t know that God and I love them so much, all they’d have to do is ask.
In fact, I may need to show up all the more.
The family that recently went to the Congo to get their daughter posted a video of the orphage this weekend. While just raw unedited footage, it was amazing to our eyes and ears. We got to see our kids in action!
Rose was pictured in much of the video, similar to how she managed to appear in many of the pictures we had already seen. She is definitely not shy in any way. She loved the camera and loved the candy that they brought. In fact, she loved it so much that I caught her steathfully stealing something from another child, who didn’t even seem to notice! All the facial expressions we’ve been seeing in each of the pictures have now been given context, and every once in a while, she flashed a gigantic double-dimpled smile. She is simply adorable! Her hair is getting longer, after having it shaved when she first came to the orphanage. Thick, dark, curly hair covers her head and I can’t wait to figure out what to do with it! She is fairly big for her age, but her motor skills look like a typical three year old, from what I could see. She especially enjoys jumping. A lot. She still has a pudgy toddler pot belly and baby fat in her cheeks. She loves to be where all the action and attention are.
Emmanuel is much more reserved, and we were able to confirm that he is who we thought he was in the pictures we had seen. In the video, he hovers over his sister at a distance. At one point, he realized he was being filmed, and he looked straight into the lens of the camera (which was being used by a man) pointed to it and shouted, “Maman! (French for “mommy”) I honestly have no idea what to make of it, but I am delighted nonetheless. He has the sweetest softest smile that reveals he has already lost his first baby tooth. It looks like the Tooth Fairy is going to have some catching up to do! He’s as tall as the other five year olds in the group, including the little girl who just came home. I feel like I can now estimate what size of clothing he wears. Since most of the kids his age were speaking some English, I’m hoping he’ll know a little bit too.
Our kids are so cute. In all seriousness, you all are going to fall in love the minute you see their smiling faces. You may not have the strength to resist them! Consider yourself warned! 🙂
A guest post by Ken
Robin and I are looking forward to going and getting our children. We can’t wait. The waiting causes our spirits to ache. There is a deep longing that cannot be explained but tells us that the way things are now are simply not as they should be.
Our children, who we hope to adopt in the very near future, are not ours yet. And we know that the journey to go and get them will be a difficult one. We are going to a country that is very different from our own. It will not be safe for us – day or night. The basic living conditions will be challenging. The Democratic Republic of Congo is a dark place. An inhospitable place for us. Our goal is go there, get our children and return safely.
For our two children, they may not understand what is happening. I can’t imagine that three and five year olds will be able to grasp the changes no matter how hard we try to explain the process. They will be joining our family and going to a place that is so foreign from all that they know.
Kinshasa, their current home, is dangerous. As “rich foreigners”, it will be even more so for us. There is a lack of food and clean drinking water. Disease is common. Much of the living conditions are a mystery because it is illegal and unsafe for outsiders to take pictures. For the most part, the plight of those living there goes unnoticed by the outside world. It is a place that is forgotten and abandoned.
And we can’t wait to show our children what their new home will be like. We have come to love Nashville and all that it offers. It has become home for Robin and I.
We are so blessed.
If I were penniless today, I know where I could go to get a warm meal and a smile. And even if I didn’t, I believe strangers, STRANGERS, would take care of me. Clean drinking water is freely available. I have access to doctors, top notch hospitals and the latest medicines. And while there are dangerous places in Nashville, I also know that there are many places where I am safe and will be welcomed inside. I am so blessed.
Nashville is a beautiful city. We look forward to taking our children around the city and showing them the sights: the Zoo (creatures big and small from the very cuddly to the very creepy), farmers market (with all its sights and smells), Centennial park (they may not care about the Parthenon, but will love feeding the ducks in the pond), the Adventure Science Center (with all its wonders to explore), and of course the lights at the Opryland Hotel at Christmas time. And in between, there are so many playgrounds and metro parks that must be explored. I think they will love the many trees, ponds, walkways, jungle gyms, swimming pools and ice cream shops. Nashville is a great place to be a kid.
We are so blessed and have so much to share with our children.
When we meet them our children will be afraid about the future, the transition and us. How can they not be? Everything about us will be different from what they know. It will be our job to build trust, to guide them through this transition, and to make them feel safe along the way.
We know that in many ways life will be better for them. We will give them food, clothes, a home where they can feel safe, education, friends, and a future where they can decide who they want to be and what they will do with their lives. If they allow us, we will be their forever family.
I can’t wait to tell them about their wonderful life and all the riches it has waiting for them. And yet I am reminded that this isn’t the BEST. Moving to America will be life changing for them, but the truth is there is nothing, NOTHING, on this earth that will compare to heaven.
We are so blessed to be living where and when we are, but this isn’t home. While we will be in Kinshasa, we will be looking forward to returning to Music City, yet there is a real danger for us if we get too comfortable with this life.
Nashville is a beautiful city. It has become home for Robin and I. But it is not home for us. We are both aliens and strangers who are on a journey to a better place. We look forward to our children joining us on this pilgrimage. When the writer of Hebrews penned the passage on the heroes of the faith, he described a people of faith who longed for a place where they would belong.
13 All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. 14 People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15 If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 13:13-16, NIV)
More recently, Building 429 has written a song, Where I Belong, which sums up how Robin and I feel.
Sometimes it feels like im watching
from the outside
Sometimes it feels like
I’m breathing but am I alive
I will keep searching for answers
that aren’t here to find
All I know is
I’m not home yet
this is not where I belong
take this world and give me Jesus
this is not where I belong
So when the walls
come falling down on me
and when im lost
in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.
When the earth shakes
I wanna be found in you
when the lights fade
I wanna be found in you
We can’t wait to meet our children.
We long for the day when we can bring them back to the states and introduce them to our friends, family and the wonderful life that we now enjoy.
But we ache for the day when OUR heavenly Father comes to get us and take us HOME where we truly belong!
We’ve not heard anything since we resubmitted our court documents to see if we could get them corrected, especially in regard to Ken’s citizenship. If indeed they were able to correct them as typos, and our original judgment date still stands, then we are now past the 30 day appeal period, which was up on Monday.
And still we wait.
The paper that we’re waiting for makes the children forever ours, and then it’s just a small matter of going through all of the paperwork to get permission to go get them.
One piece of paper and we are officially parents to two very specific children. It could come tomorrow. It could come in 5 months.
The wait is torture. Really. After all, we’ve been in the adoption process since October of 2010, and no end in sight. I think the closer we get, the harder it gets. And every time we’re asked, “So, when do you get to go get them?” I am reminded of the most painfully vulnerable and uncertain part of this entire process: when. If your children were in locked in an orphanage in a the poorest and hungriest country in the world with no timeline of when you could rescue them, wouldn’t you feel the same way?
We’ve been told by the end of 2011, January or February, March or April, and now we’re expecting it’s going to be much beyond then as well.
We know how much it will cost ($10,000-$15,000 for travel depending on exact airfare for 4), we know who the kids are, we know our agency, the orphanage, the country coordinator, where we’re staying, where we’ll be eating, the travel agency we’re using.
We. just. don’t. know. when.
A few weeks ago, Ken has posted on Facebook how painful it was to be asked a dozen times a day (which is typical), “When?” He really wasn’t trying to be offensive, but in a rare moment, express how he’s feeling. The pain comes from the reminder of the uncertainty. As unsure as everyone else is about when we’re heading to the Congo, there is no one that the uncertainty bothers more than us. And sometimes the questions feel like they are reopening an already very tender wound. Sometimes it’s just easier not to talk about the adoption at all than to try to repeatedly explain that we don’t know when we’ll be finished with the process.
There’s absolutely nothing we can do, other than continue to wait and ask ourselves, “When?”
The family who went to the Congo last week to bring home their daughter is now safe and sound in America. While there, Amy (the mom) posted not only on her public blog, but on the private adoption discussion boards that all of us in our adoption group flock to every day. It was there she posted tips, stories, recommendations, and of course the 226 pictures that have put joy and hope in our hearts. For the first time, she allowed us to see our children laughing, playing, and enjoying friends. Her husband is even preparing a video of life in the orphanage that our kids call home.
Be still my beating heart.
Now they’ve posted the homecoming video for their precious new 5 year old daughter, Britnelle. (Kleenex advisory.)
Brittnelle’s Homecoming from AbellMedia on Vimeo.
Even while Amy was in the Congo, she blogged these words,
“I’m busy, busy, dreadfully busy…much, much too busy for you.” There are so many times in my life that I knew God was calling me to do something, but I chose to say, “I’m busy, busy, dreadfully busy…much, much too busy for you.” I always seem to have an excuse why I could not be the one at that moment. They actually were really good reasons. It is not good for my kids, I am busy doing these other good things that I want to do, I just cannot afford it…when really God is saying you may not think it is good for your kids, but I will make it a learning and growing experience for them (this journey has had so many teachable moments for our children)…you are doing great things, but I need you here, God says I am in control and will meet all of your needs. There are more reasons I have used, but God always has a better reason why I should.
“If you see someone who is hurt or in need, maybe its time to perform a good deed and then you will see when you make them feel better you’ll feel better too.” I can think of so many times in my life when I chose to be too busy and not follow God’s leading and guess what, I regretted it. I can honestly say I cannot think of a single time I chose to follow God’s leading despite how busy I was or what I had in mind that I was not blessed beyond my greatest imagination.
I have said before adoption is a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. We had in our minds the way this whole thing was going to go down when God led usto adopt again. I can assure you it was not to come to Africa. I had no desire to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to come here. I had no desire to stay in conditions below what I thought was standard. I had no desire to eat food I did not want to eat. I had no desire to sweat uncontrollably just walking out the door, not to mention the ice cold showers. We liked our family, we had an even number. Starting with a young child again brings many challenges. We have already adopted two children…it is someone else’s turn. I had many, many more excuses, these are just a few. But we truly felt led here and it would have been way easier to give all the excuses and some of them were pretty good, but today as I sit and listen to this beautiful little girl say, “I love you mama” and reach her hands up for me to pick her up and when I do she throws her arms around my neck and zerberts my cheek…I cannot imagine not following God’s leading. We have helped a child out of a desperate situation (when you make them feel better), but in four short days she has taught me more about love, trust, hope and myself than I can ever repay (you’ll feel better too). It is a privilage and an honor to be her mom!
There are so many of us now who dearly love this family that we’ve never met as we’ve shared Amy’s family’s journey and now their homecoming. Instead of just focusing on their family while they were in the Congo, she remembered all of us who are going to be following in their footsteps, waiting with bated breath for any whisper of news or hope. She’s given us both. You can follow her blog at truejourneyoflove.blogspot.com.
And now it’s our turn to prepare to go. Though it will be a few more months before we travel, we’ve got to save and raise travel expenses. We can’t use credit cards in the Congo, so financial preparation is key. Our next event is NEXT Saturday at Trevecca’s men’s and women’s basketball games (at 2:00 and 4:00 p.m.) , where a portion of ticket sales will go to help with our travel expenses! We’re so grateful for our Trevecca family offering their support, and hope you’ll join us for some basketball and blessings!
Guest post by Ken
Along the journey of international adoption, we have grown accustomed to several questions, “When are you going to get your kids? Any updates on your adoption?” Those two are the big ones, but another one that we hear from time to time is…
“When is you next fundraiser?”
If you are asking yourself this question, then I am glad you asked!
On Saturday, Feb. 4, (2 & 4 p.m.), Trevecca Nazarene University is sponsoring our adoption. They will be doing this at their men’s and women’s basketball games. A portion of all general admission ticket sales for the two games will go to defray the cost of adopting our children. We will have a booth setup in the lobby for donations and to share information.
We are very grateful for any funds that are raised, but we are also excited about the chance to spread the word about adoption. We are not experts and we have made many mistakes along the way, but our prayer is that our story will serve to encourage others to explore what they can do as well to help those in need.
So, if you’re in the area on Saturday, Feb. 4, the Trevecca men’s and women’s basketball teams will be playing (2 & 4 p.m.) we would love to have your support. Each ticket bought is one step closer to helping us bring our children home!
Where in the World Are Our Kids? 