When

We’ve not heard anything since we resubmitted our court documents to see if we could get them corrected, especially in regard to Ken’s citizenship. If indeed they were able to correct them as typos, and our original judgment date still stands, then we are now past the 30 day appeal period, which was up on Monday.

And still we wait.

The paper that we’re waiting for makes the children forever ours, and then it’s just a small matter of going through all of the paperwork to get permission to go get them.

One piece of paper and we are officially parents to two very specific children. It could come tomorrow. It could come in 5 months.

The wait is torture. Really. After all, we’ve been in the adoption process since October of 2010, and no end in sight.  I think the closer we get, the harder it gets. And every time we’re asked, “So, when do you get to go get them?” I am reminded of the most painfully vulnerable and uncertain part of this entire process: when. If your children were in locked in an orphanage in a the poorest and hungriest country in the world with no timeline of when you could rescue them, wouldn’t you feel the same way?

We’ve been told by the end of 2011, January or February, March or April, and now we’re expecting it’s going to be much beyond then as well.

We know how much it will cost ($10,000-$15,000 for travel depending on exact airfare for 4), we know who the kids are, we know our agency, the orphanage, the country coordinator, where we’re staying, where we’ll be eating, the travel agency we’re using.

We. just. don’t. know. when.

A few weeks ago, Ken has posted on Facebook how painful it was to be asked a dozen times a day (which is typical), “When?” He really wasn’t trying to be offensive, but in a rare moment, express how he’s feeling. The pain comes from the reminder of the uncertainty. As unsure as everyone else is about when we’re heading to the Congo, there is no one that the uncertainty bothers more than us. And sometimes the questions feel like they are reopening an already very tender wound. Sometimes it’s just easier not to talk about the adoption at all than to try to repeatedly explain that we don’t know when we’ll be finished with the process.

There’s absolutely nothing we can do, other than continue to wait and ask ourselves, “When?”

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14 thoughts on “When

  1. The time will come and when it does it will be wonderful and satisfying and overwhelming and you will feel like “God, you came through.” and He will.

  2. When we get asked the “When” question, we simply answer, “As soon as God says so, and not a moment sooner.” I know it is very frustrating. We began our process in August 2010. We are now waiting on our son’s passport in order to make our Embassy Appointment. The waiting can be torture at times, but the questions, when unanswerable, can be even worse. Don’t be discouraged, God has overcome the battle. He has won victory over your pain and He will give you the strength to deal with the frustration. I keep reminding myself that I am to trust Him with all my heart and not to lean on my own understanding, but in everything, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path… I am finally at peace with waiting for as long as I need to because I know that He will bless us for our patience and trust in Him… I just said a prayer for you… Tina (OWAS Congo group)

    • I reply something similar. The most difficult was last weekend when we were at our fundraising booth for four hours and were asked at least 100 times. It was emotionally exhausting.

      I think frustration and discouragement is natural, and even Biblical. Jesus himself had some pretty discouraging moments in the Garden of Gethsemane, so I think it’s okay to allow myself to feel the emotions I imagine He would feel. Is Jesus saddened and frustrated that my two children are in an orphanage? I think so. I think the sinful nature that set our children’s lives on the path to being orphans frankly makes Him angry.

      So while, yes, I absolutely believe that God has planned the day we will travel to get them and I am at peace with that, I am not at peace with the fact that the brokenness of our world leaves our home empty and two children in an orphanage without parents. Otherwise, we never would have begun the adoption journey at all, and I imagine, neither would you.

    • I’m well aware that most people don’t get CONA in anywhere near to 30 days. I’m not even positive I’ve passed court yet since we’ve had to go back to court. Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. Thank you for sharing your hearts with us. It helps us know how to pray. We pray for you often (from a sticky note on our bathroom mirror) and whenever we see posts on facebook and here. Know that you are being basked in prayer right now. I know God’s timing is perfect-although it’s not ours-we understand that, but it doesn’t always make it easier on those of us who wait. We are in a bit of waiting ourselves so I understand how that feels-I HATE waiting! We love you and are sending hugs! PRAYING!

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