A few weeks ago in college Sunday School, we discussed the article, “Do Women Sin?” by Keith Drury. Now before you think that we’re a bunch of heretics, the answer was that yes indeed, women do sin. It’s just that the types of sin committed by men versus women tend to be of a different sort. The students in the article noted that men struggle more with lust, pride, anger, etc. while women struggle with, um . . .

What was it again that the article talked about?

Oh yes, the sins that women struggled with, which the students mentioned in the article were, “lack of self-esteem,” and “lack of trust.” We all had a good laugh over the fact that the biggest problem women have is that they don’t think highly enough of themselves!

But on a more serious note, we talked about how poor self-esteem and worry really can lead to other sins. “They’re like gateway sins,” one of the students quipped. Worry may or may not be a sin in and of itself, but it can easily develop into other sins. Do we really need to take worry seriously?  Even if worry is a sin, we certainly don’t treat worry like we do other, more external sins.

To be honest, there is much worry potential when it comes to this adoption. How long will it take? Can we raise the money? Are the children safe? Do they know that there are people on the other side of the world who love them and are desperately trying to bring them home? Will our travels be safe? Will I be able to avoid eating foods I’m allergic to in a country where I can’t necessarily identify what I’m eating?  Will the children be able to adapt to American culture? How is it that I’m going to be the only one in our house who doesn’t speak French? How will we ever make up for the time that we’ve already spent apart? Will they love me in return?

A couple of days ago, I was reading the My Utmost for His Highest devotional for the day, “One of God’s Great Don’ts,” in which Oswald Chambers talks about worry when he states, “We tend to think that a little anxiety and worry are simply an indication of how wise we really are, yet it is actually a much better indication of just how wicked we are.”

Ouch.

Yet his words continue to fillet my heart open, “All our fretting and worrying is caused by planning without God.”

The truth is, it’s easy to worry when we don’t have a strong sense of direction from God, and for me, even when I do. We know that God has directed our footsteps precisely every step of the way along this journey — even the painful steps.

However, it’s those potential painful steps that cause me the most worry. We’ve seen so much disappointment along the way. I don’t know that things are going to go smoothly as planned. Though I certainly hope, I don’t know if this adoption path will lead us to our happy ending.

But I know and trust the One who created the path to begin with. I trust that He is good. And I refuse to worry, because worry places my desires for myself ahead of my desire for Him.

“Resting in the Lord is not dependent on your external circumstances at all,

but on your relationship with God Himself.”

 — Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest.