Still Not Okay

After seven weeks of waiting, the day of our first of our embassy appointments arrived this week. Given all of the chaos going on surrounding adoptions from the Congo, I had a sense of dread rather than excitement. I called or emailed our agency to make sure everything was ready to go, and that the appointments would be met, both the week before our appointments and the day before.

I was assured each time that everything was ready to go.

The day after our appointment, I received an email that our representative in the Congo did not have one of the necessary documents, and did not go to the appointment — the one that took seven weeks to get.

Then in an even more cruel twist, I have found out from several different sources that the document he was missing wasn’t even necessary for our appointment to begin with. There was no legitimate reason for missing our appointment.

We have no idea when we’ll get another.

We are frustrated and frankly, feel betrayed by those who are representing us.

Our kids will spend an entire year in an orphanage before we can go get them. This delay means our son doesn’t get to start kindergarten on time. It means we will now have to pay to have our home study redone, spending money that should be going to buying a swing set, for Christian school tuition, or even a trip to Disney. And every month we pay hundreds of dollars to support the incompetence that keeps them there.

Picture in your mind the children in your life who are most important to you. Maybe your own kids, nieces or nephews, grandkids, or kids that you babysit.

Now imagine that they have been taken against their will and put in an orphanage in Africa. There is no air conditioning in the scorching equatorial heat. They get one meal a day and very limited access to water, and the water they do have access to is not clean. So they have intestinal parasites. And ringworm. And scabies. And lice.  Medical treatment for these? Nonexistent. Malaria is frequent. Baths are rare. They sleep several to a mattress, with no blankets or pillows, and their entire life exists between the high stone walls immediately surrounding the house with no grass, no playground. There are no toys. They are taught that they have no personal property and that the rule of life is survival of the fittest.  No significant learning opportunities. No one rocking them to sleep or reading to them before bed. They fall behind developmentally. They begin to fall off the growth charts.

Remember, these are the kids who are most important to you. How does that make you feel?

For us, this is reality. These are not imaginary children. They are, in fact, our children. And as good as it sounds to say, “It’s all in God’s perfect timing,” “I hope you have peace about what’s going on,” and “It will all be worth it,” it rings hollow in the face of the suffering that they (not us) are facing. This has never been about Ken and I. This isn’t wistfully thinking, “Gee, it would be nice to have some kids running around.” This is an all out battle against the gates of Hell for the souls of two children, now OUR children, because this is what the Bible tells us that true religion is all about, and God has called us to the front lines. But frankly, the enemy is having a heyday right now, and his fiery arrows are striking our children.

Forgive me for my rant, but I think if these were your kids, you’d share in the rant too. Forgive me for not wanting to talk about all of this in casual circles when asked, “So, when are you going to get your kids?” The ugliness of the situation runs far more deep than I can summarize in two sentences, and is certainly more than I can post on this blog.

Just pray. The power of prayer the only thing that can rescue this situation and get our kids out before things get worse.


15 thoughts on “Still Not Okay

  1. Earnestly praying for your precious children as well as for you. These are such difficult days for your family of 4.

  2. Robin – I know firsthand how those comments “ring hollow” in the face of this suffering. I will be praying.

    Psalm 68:5-6
    Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
    is God in his holy habitation.
    God settles the solitary in a home;
    he leads out the prisoners to prosperity,
    but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

  3. My heart is aching for you and for your children. I can’t even imagine the pain you are in right now. I wish I was closer so I could just put my arms around you and we could have a good cry together! But as you know, prayer is powerful, so as always, we will pray. Just pray. We love all of you so much!

  4. No apology needed for the rant-rant away! I will rant with you. And continue to pray. No child needs to be in that situation. Praying and believing. Love you guys.

  5. Robin-my heart breaks for you guys, even more so for those 2 precious children. I couldn’t believe it when I heard about your missed embassy appointment. Actually, I could believe it, I was just angered that yet again the enemy is hitting you and hurting those kids yet again. I am glad to hear you still have fight in your voice! I am praying for you, them, fervently.

  6. We are here with you….we talked today if I was in the DRC and someone was standing in my husbands way what would he do to get me home. People do not realize these are OUR children, we do not love them any less because we have never held them in our arms, on the contrary we love them more!
    After begging the Lord for mercy and grace, for protection for the children, for peace for our hearts, then I was given renewed strength to pound that ground and I am going to pray that nothing will stand in your way, that paths will be made clear and that those who need to do something will. In this with you! C

  7. I myself do not have words, but I feel tonight I should pray this for your kids!
    Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
    2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
    3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
    4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
    5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
    6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
    7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
    8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.
    9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
    10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
    11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
    12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
    13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
    14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
    15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
    16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation. ”

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