I moved to Nashville 11 years ago with Ken, ready for PA school and life with 200 boys in a dorm. Now I have just departed our first home, with our first two dogs, and two new-to-us kids. My time in Nashville has been a turning point in my life on many different areas. I’ve confronted death, heartbreak, accomplishment, defeat, and celebration. As I look back over my time in Nashville, these are a few of the most important lessons learned.

Integrity

If I am honest, do what is right, and trust the Holy Spirit to guide me, I will have no regrets. God defines success as obedience. The world defines success in many ways that don’t really matter. Most problems in life come when we forget the difference.

Appreciation for life

Before I moved to Nashville, I had very mild exercise-induced asthma. My first year here, I was hospitalized for asthma, and several times since. I once went to the doctor’s office and begged them to admit me so I would have the option of a ventilator because I was so exhausted from just trying to stay alive. Nashville was really hard on my lungs. But in the moments I laid in a hospital bed, or on my couch, unable to breathe well enough to even walk across the house by myself, I realized that life is not about me, or breathing. It’s about glorifying God in whatever He calls me to.

I never have been able to get rid of the cough that has now become known as my “funky Africa cough,” since it struck me just after I arrived back in the United States from our adoption adventure. I now understand what the Apostle Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians and how God used the thorn in the flesh to strengthen him.  “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Every breath is a blessing, and every cough a confirmation that He is my strength.

Poverty is always more than it seems

I must admit that a decade ago, I had a lot of misconceptions about poverty. I fell into the “just pull yourselves up by your bootstraps” category. And then I actually met some people trapped in poverty. And I fell in love with them. I heard their stories of broken relationships and broken systems that kept them frustrated and trapped in poverty. One of the most interesting things I learned is that for the most part, they really didn’t want my money, or my handouts, or my instruction. In fact, those things sort of made it seem like I thought I was superior. They wanted friendship, a hug, to be seen as equals, to be loved.

And really, I was a jerk. I was a jerk for thinking that our relationship was a one way street, and that I was the one who had more to offer. I am ashamed of my conceit. When I started to hear their stories, understand their needs, and find ways to work together toward solutions, it changed my life. I never would have expected that a group of people who feel like they have no power would radically change my life for the better. In fact, I feel a bit selfish now — that they gave me more than I ever gave them. If you haven’t surrounded yourself in a community of the poor before, I highly recommend it — especially if you’re of the “bootstraps” variety. Whether here or in third world countries, no one wants to be seen as a charity case. What they want is dignity.

No wonder Scripture calls us so many times to care for the poor, the widow, the orphan, and the foreigner among us — it’s primarily for our benefit, not theirs. When we can recognize the character of God in the “least of these,” we realize that the “least” is really us.

Sovereignty of God

Through our adoption journey, my bouts with illness, the stress of difficult work situation, God has been faithful. I may not understand where He is leading me or what will happen in the the days and years to come, but that is what makes Him God, and not me. The situations in which God places us are not by mistake, but so that He can accomplish His will. Sometimes that means that things will go well for me, and other times, not. When Scripture tells us that all things work to the good of those who love Him, I must remember that God defines what is good, not me.

Nashville was a great city to live in. We have many cherished memories and treasured friends, but most of all, life-changing lessons learned. I can’t wait to see what God has for us in Boiling Springs!

Last year at this time, 4 of my fellow coworkers had left or were in the process of leaving within 6 months of each other. I had recurrent bronchitis and pneumonia that was becoming less responsive to antibiotics. I had adopted two children from the Congo who were barely speaking in English, and only one of them in sentences. Both were woefully behind in school, and one needed additional services to accommodate for developmental delay in addition to culture shock. And my husband worked 4-5 nights a week and Saturdays and Sundays.

Then I was asked to take a promotion.

It seemed crazy to take the promotion to Program Director, in addition to continuing my old role. But there was a serious need for stabilization, and whether I took the promotion or not, I would be responsible for the transition. I knew that God was calling me to something greater than myself for that time.

So I agreed to do it. For one year. I made a series of negotiations that would make the position possible for me and my family.

And now that year has ended. Most of the things I had negotiated for never materialized. The University and I could not come to terms about what was needed to make the Program successful.

So our family is moving on. Over the last 6 months, I have been considering what my life would look like after my one year. Return to practice locally? Move to another PA Program? Take a Sabbath rest? Pursue another career?

After much prayer and consideration, I still felt God leading me to Christian physician assistant education. Unfortunately, Christian PA programs are extremely rare. A year ago, there were three that I could find in the entire country. Fortunately, more have developed over the last year, and several have been hiring.

On April 4th, I was offered and accepted a position in the new physician assistant program at Gardner Webb University, an NCAA Division I Christian school known for excellence and for serving in Boiling Springs, North Carolina. It is a town of approximately 3800, most of whom are associated with the University. I will be doing a combination of teaching and administration, similar to what I have done previously, but with half the students and more fellow faculty and staff to share the load. My role will be largely flexible as the program continues to take shape. Since Strengths Finder tells me that my gifts are futuristic, ideation, belief, intellection, and learning, I don’t think I could find a better fit than to help launch a new Christian PA Program. I start May 6th.

On April 6th, we put our house on the market. We had two showings in the first hour. The paint was literally still wet. Our first offer came in on April 7th, our next two on April 8th. We signed an offer on the evening of the 8th at significantly above asking. On April 10th, Ken and I left Addie and Palmer in the hands of my parents (thank you!) and drove to Boiling Springs, putting in an offer on a house on April 11th.

Boiling Springs has great schools for the kids with several options for them. It is a small and well-educated community where we have been assured that our family of many nations will find not just acceptance, but be embraced. We will live in a small tight-knit neighborhood and community where we will be known, our kids will ride their bikes freely, and we’ll have 5 minute commutes to anywhere in town. We have already had several churches offer to help us unload our moving van, even if we don’t attend their church.

The one area where we are still looking for God’s leading is Ken’s area of ministry. We know that God’s plan is not just for me, but for all of us. We’re just waiting for God’s leading in an opportunity where Ken will be happy too. I am so blessed to have a husband who celebrates my gifts and God’s leading in my life, and sees them as no threat to his own. From which jobs to pursue, to where to move, to choosing a Realtor, to finding a house, we have been in 100 percent agreement.

The best thing about this time of transition is that I have had a chance to have a Sabbath rest. Many people talk about having “balance” in life, but I don’t really believe that is possible. I think that life is more like a symphony. Sometimes the symphony is loud and raucous, sometimes it is soft and slow. There must be times for both. In a year where most of my life was filled with meetings, legislation, accreditation, negotiations, endless emails, frustrations, and interruptions, I needed a time for reading for pleasure, napping when needed, writing when I had something to say, playing with my children, and living with spontaneity. I also needed to come to terms with God’s definition of success: obedience. I did what I was called to do, and how I was called to do it: with integrity.

Knowing when to walk away

is wisdom.

Being willing to

is courage.

Walking away with your head held high

is dignity.

–Unknown

Oops. The end of 2013 has snuck up on me. Even today, driving in the van, Ken and I discussed when New Years Eve is. We both agreed it was tomorrow, until we subsequently agreed that there is no such thing as December 32nd.

Tough and tumultuous. Promise and progress. 2013 has been a chronicle of contradictions and a season of learning.

A year ago this week, we challenged the kids to speak no more Lingala. Addie and Palmer were content to have their own family, their own conversations, and exclusivity of their loyalties and affections. They were content to live in our house, play with our toys, eat our food, but only converse with each other. Sure, they knew some essential phrases to get along, “Pizza,” “Please,” “Bathroom,” but relational conversation was just between the two of them.

So Ken and I bribed them.

With incentives of bicycles and allowances, Addie and Palmer began to let us into their world.

I sometimes think this is how God must feel about us — we are happy to consume His provisions, enjoy His creation, bask in His blessings. We may even offer up phrases, “Thank you Jesus for this food. Amen.” or recite a laundry list of prayer requests. What He wants even more is relationship — He made us in His own image, breathed life into our nostrils, walked with us in the Garden.

Addie remained fairly silent for months. She started speaking in sentences a full 9 months after coming home from the Congo. That’s a really long time to wait for a child to speak. Fortunately, Palmer’s verbal skills were much more quick to develop. Intelligent  and analytical, he has an incredible memory. As he began to speak, we began to learn more and more about their lives in the Congo — and why they had been so hesitant to speak to us to begin with. They have experienced more tragedy and hardship in their lives than most of us adults have or even will. The guilt associated with their life experiences was unbearable. How do you parent a child who has more life experience, more survival skills, more responsibility shouldered then you can comprehend? He has a bent toward not disobedience and arrogance because he has been his own parent. Can we teach him to merely be a child again?  Can we teach him to trust and respect authority?

Countless times throughout scripture, we are encouraged to have faith of a child, consider ourselves children of God, and even challenges us that if we don’t become like children, we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Why? After living with a 9-year-old adult for the last 18 months, I can see it: trust and respect for God’s authority in our lives. Willingness to release our guilt and experience joy. Less dependence on our survival skills and more dependence on God.

Addie has had different struggles. Because she is less verbal, her grief has been expressed in behavioral problems. After months of baffling and awful behavior at home, I talked to her about the dark places in our heart that hurt and make us want to do bad things. I also talked to her about Jesus being the Healer of those dark places, and if she wanted, Jesus would come and help heal the hurts in her heart. I felt so inadequate to try to explain theology of the sinful nature to a 7-year-old with poor verbal skills. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit translated for me and she accepted Jesus into her heart. The change in her behavior has been, well, miraculous.

I am reminded that Jesus not only wants to take away our sin, but heal us of our bent to sinning. Too often we want Jesus to forgive us for our actions, but what He really wants to deliver us from is the sinful nature itself. We want a band-aid. He wants to do surgery.

At the end of the year, I am shocked by the remarkable progress the kids have made. Physically they have grown approximately 7 inches and gained nearly 20 pounds each. They look very much like the 7 and 9 years old that they actually are . . . we think. Educationally, they are catching up to their peers, and getting good grades at school. Spiritually, they ask very deep questions about God, salvation, heaven, and sin on almost a daily basis. Emotionally they are beginning to relax and have a sense of belonging to our family.

My health has made less progress this year. After thousands of dollars of treatments, procedures, far too many steroids, and cultures we still know very little. The cultures from my bronchoscopy all came back negative, but I always improve almost immediately on antibiotics. Unfortunately, we have progressed to using strong antibiotics used at dosages that most medical providers wouldn’t feel comfortable prescribing. I’ve gone through 2 courses in the last six months, but the residual nagging cough seems like it’s here to stay. Again this year, I’ve come close to death several times, but I’ve realized that I’m not afraid. “Jesus likes to keep me close,” is my mantra. Illness just reminds me that I cannot do His work on my own, but must trust Him for my every breath.

The biggest challenge of the 2013 has been my job. With the loss of 4 employees (out of 11) and 2 more going part-time, I’ve felt like I’m trying to steer a ship in a hurricane. I’ve retained my old job as Didactic Education Coordinator, taken on the position of Program Director, and am also doing much of the work of the Clinical Education Coordinator. With no one to train me, it’s been a steep learning curve. I recently did a utilization review to try to establish bearings, and found that my to-do list per day is usually around 70 items, and additionally I get between 80-100 emails daily, and respond to most. Then there are meetings to attend, classes to teach, students to advise, interviews to conduct, and on and on, that aren’t really to-do items, but important nonetheless. We’ve had more critical issues in our Program in the last six months than we’ve had in the 5 years that I’ve been there combined. I come home exhausted every day. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed by an all-star team of new employees who love God and want to be a part of His work in our Program. And God is at work. Students are coming to know God in ways that are remarkable. They are learning to balance grace and truth. He is calling students to Himself,  to work among the poor, and now even in countries where Christians are persecuted, because this is where the future of missions is. We are still teaching excellent medicine, but God is clearly calling us to focus on serving the poor domestically and globally.

I went to a Christian Community Health Fellowship conference in Atlanta back in May, in the first few weeks of my Program Directorship. In the week afterward, I debriefed with the students who went with me, and we all came up with summarizing statements about what God was speaking to us about. It was at that time that I shared with my students that just like our hearts individually, our Program needed a Savior, and I am not it. Jesus is. The job of calling, cleansing, and redeeming is not mine. I am only a tool in His hands, and my job is to ensure that our Program lives and breathes the aroma of Christ in all that we do. There are many Programs that train Physician Assistants, but He has called us to educate not only excellent medical providers, but PAs who practice medicine as ministry. Yes, there have been obstacles this year, but Kingdom work has never been safe work, has it?

Ultimately, 2013 has been a year of diving into the dangerous waters of knowing God and doing His will. My students often tell me that they are impressed that I have the ability to make everything spiritual. Perhaps that is because I believe everything is spiritual. We were not meant to have divided lives. Whether it is parenting two traumatized children, coping with illness, or directing a medical Program, God has lessons to learn in all things.

When I was growing up, I always knew that God wanted me to save room in my home for children who did not otherwise have one. With so many children in the world without homes, options were plenty, and still are. Domestic adoption of minorities, international adoption, and foster care all have tremendous needs. I realize not everyone is directed by God to bring an orphan into their home, but I do believe we are all called to do something for the cause of the orphan.

“Satan hates adoption,” was one of the first phrases I became familiar with when we first began our adoption journey. It was difficult. It always has been, and continues to be. The adoption community is full of difficult stories — almost no one is immune. Fraud, scandal, kidnappings, corruption, apathy, bribery, and abuse are common topics discussed behind the curtains of the adoption community. Most of us fear sharing the reality of adoption because we do not want to scare others away, realizing that many of us likely would not have chosen such a difficult road had we knew what it would be like. So we hide in Facebook groups, online forums, and private messages to support one another through difficult times, and celebrate the victories along the way. But not a one of us regrets the journey, because these are our children. What cost is too great to save the life of a child? Would not any parent face any dangers necessary to save the life that God had chosen for them?

Caring for orphans is dangerous work. Satan does not meddle with initiatives that do not storm the gates of hell. But adoption certainly does.  Adoptive parents are some of the toughest, and most tender people you will ever meet. And they need prayers, support, and encouragement, even if they won’t allow you to know what’s really going on. Sometimes it’s just to hard to put into words.

Let me try.

To give you a glimpse of what is public, there has been a development in Congo adoptions: exit letters are suspended for up to 12 months. I have friends who have legally been parents of children in the Congo for nearly a year, who have yet to get permission to bring home their child. First, there was a new 6 month investigation phase initiated earlier in the year, and just when they thought they had cleared that hurdle, exit permits were suspended. That means that even if adoptive parents even have the permission of the United States to bring their children home, but the DRC will not let the children leave.  To make matters worse, dysentery has swept through one of the orphanages associated with American adoptions, killing 33 of 52 children, while the government works out new processes for adoption. The heartache is palpable. The needs are so urgent. Hope is hard these days.

And yet these families continue to pray, plead, and fight and raise money to bring their children home. Because that’s what is what they are called to do. They are not giving up on their children.

Because God never gave up on any of us.

Today is Orphan Sunday.

Not everyone is called to adopt. But we are all called to do something.

I’d ask you to consider being a tangible encouragement to a DRC adoptive family today.

I’ve collected links to those who are fundraising to bring their children home from the Congo.

1. Look through the links and make at least ONE purchase to make a difference in the life of a child this Orphan Sunday. There are some wonderful, creative, and beautiful things for sale, and would make terrific Christmas gifts. Would you consider making all of your Christmas purchases ones that will make Kingdom impact?

2. Comment on their blogs or pages with a word of encouragement.

3. Pray for their families. Their WHOLE families, including their precious children stuck on the other side of the world. Pray for stamina for the parents. Pray for health, nutrition, and emotional and spiritual protection for their children. And pray that they are united soon.

4. Post this blog on your Facebook wall. Encourage others to do the same.

This store has absolutely adorable merchandise. I am in love with this rosette necklace, and they have beautiful burlap and chevron items that will add style to your home and self. 

If you haven’t had Just Love Coffee, you are just missing out! As a former barista, I know good coffee, and this is it! We used to fundraise through Just Love Coffee, and now we are subscribers in order to pass along blessings to current adoptive families. My favorite is African Skies. 

Here is a fundraiser that includes a drawing for some great prizes that would make great gifts for yourself or someone else. Each ticket is only $10!

This fundraiser makes me wish I was closer to Oklahoma! If you are in the area, you are in luck! I’m hoping leftover items will be posted for sale!

This Etsy shop features some very cute felt toys for kids, shirts, and custom-made “hair pretties.” I think Addie would love the Busy Book, and it would help her develop her fine motor skills! 

Oh my sweetness, this Etsy Shop has so much hand-sewn love in fabric form. If you’ve ever searched for the perfect black baby doll, look no further. Even if you have Caucasian kids, I know they would love to have a chocolate brown baby doll like this one. And a vanilla one to match!

This shop features adorable hair accessories for girls, including clips, headbands, and barrettes, and even cutesy legwarmers. Don’t you think Addie and I need matching hair clips? 

I love these customized items! Celebrate fall, Christmas, sports, kids, in these many different items that would add a personal touch for someone special. Check out the page for more options!

How did one website manage to feature so many items that I LOVE at such great prices? I want one of . . . everything! This one is the epitome of my weaknesses. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings, scarves and more for as little as $3. For such a good cause, I refuse to feel guilty about making a serious investment here.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

This store features beautiful fabric crafted items. If you are a local, check out these neat towels! I

If you’re not within a tornado siren of Franklin, you’d still love their other items, including chevron scarves, owl hats, and custom-made shirts for Christmas.

Looking for a perfect baby gift that was made with love rather than by a robot? Check out this sweet Etsy Shop that features baby bibs and bows to suit all tastes. This one is my favorite! 

I hope you all remember this painting from Worth the Wait Creations. The artist took time to get to know our family before putting together this perfect representation of who we are as a new family. Ken said it is his favorite gift ever, and it hangs in our living room. Why would you buy someone a sweater or tie, when you could give something this significant, while making a difference in the life of a Congolese child? The paintings make great wedding and baby gifts as well. 

If you want to sport your support of Congolese adoptions, check out this great shirt, featured on Etsy. Lots of sizes are available! 

Another awesome t-shirt design is featured here! I’m totally digging the pink shirt!  

If you’ve ever been to Africa, chances are that it will always be a part of your heart. These canvases feature variety of bold and subtle prints that help keep Africa in your heart.  There are many more designs to choose from!

These are incredible original stained wood art pieces. Aren’t they beautiful? I look forward to seeing more offerings from them, as they are all stunning!  Check out their site for up-close views.

This Etsy Shop features many different Congolese ornaments and Ugandan bead bracelets. I especially love this!!

This family is having a super fun giveaway! There are four different packages to enter for, but this one is my favorite. It has ME written all over it! Entries are only $5, plus there are many more ways to enter! Yikes this is awesome!

Here is another unique adoption t-shirt, as well as another opportunity to purchase Just Love Coffee!

This shop just opened and items are selling like lightening! Featuring African-themed items, there’s a little bit of something for everyone with a heart for Congo. I love these! 

Every child needs to be taught about families who are built through adoption. This is a book that does just that! 

This Etsy Shop specializes in linens and totes that are trendy and even African-themed. I adore this bag and this blanket!  

This family is selling high-quality sheets (among other things) to support their adoption. Who wouldn’t love a new set of comfy sheets?

This Etsy shop features beautiful embellished t-shirts. I love this one for Christmas! 

I would LOVE to get a locket like this for Christmas. Hint, hint, Ken, ahem. They are so personalized and fun, it would be a great gift for any mom! Create one of your own for yourself or someone special in your life!

This family is featuring an auction that starts this week, and features items that would make great Christmas gifts! They’ve already announced that there will be a diamond necklace, noonday earrings, and doTERRA items. I’ll definitely be checking back on this one!

As you start building your Christmas list, why not buy items that will mean so much to the recipient and to the seller? Each purchase from the above list will encourage, strengthen, and support those in the DRC adoption process. And the recipient will love the hand-touched meaning behind each gift. It’s a win-win.

Not all of us are called to adopt, but we are all called to do something for the sake of the orphans in the world. Here’s my challenge.

Ready?

1. Buy at least one item.

2. Comment on at least one page.

3. Pray for at least one family.

4. Repost on your blog or Facebook page

And I’d love to hear what you bought! Come back and share how you are making a difference in the life of an adoptive family!

Go make a difference!

When I was a little girl, my friend Lynette and I loved the merry-go-round. We would push it as fast as we could, hop on, and spin to our hearts’ content. If we were really fortunate, we would find a high school boy wandering by, and pester him into pushing us faster and faster. We’d lean back and watch the wondrous pattern of the trees spinning in a circle above us with the summer sun glimmering through the leaves as the breeze wisped through our hair. My favorite was jumping off the merry-go-round and trying to walk, or even stand. It was gloriously fun trying to find firm footing on the ground as the world spun around, until slowly, the spinning would come to a stop. Or, if I was feeling particularly adventurous, and a plentiful supply of compliant teens were around, I would hop back on before my equilibrium was reset.

I’m not going to lie. This was a really long year.

If I had only just been sick for 11 months, with $20,000 in treatments for a resistant infection that is triggering my asthma and complicated by an immune deficiency, it would have been a long year.

If I had only had a massive work transition and assumed my boss’s job, a coworker’s job, and retained my former job without anyone to train me on how to do what needs to be done, it would have been a long year.

If I had only adopted a 4 and 5-year-old who turned out to be 6 and 8, had to re-age them, walk through medical testing, IEP testing, EL services, convince them that they had to speak English after months of them only speaking to each other, try to acclimate them to new cultures and ages, help them recover emotionally from the horrific trauma they’ve been through, it would have been a long year.

But in true overachiever style, I have had three long years in one. Everyone in the Jewett house has.

I’ve been asked a lot how I’ve survived this year. There is only one explanation: Jesus. I can literally say that there is no way I could have survived this last year without Him. If I could have done it on my own strength, I might have become proud. Instead, I’ve realized how weak, wicked, and weary I am. Anything good from me has come from Him.

My friends in the drive through at Sonic tease me, “Why you so happy all the time?”

“It’s Jesus in me!” is my reply.

Jesus has been the best part of my year.

There have been other great parts of this year. Some of my favorites:

• The kids’ first bubble baths. More water ended up on the floor than in the tub, but they had a great time.
• Celebrating Palm Sunday with the kids and explaining heaven, to which the kids replied, “Yeah!”
• Addie telling me she loved me as we watched the movie Annie together
• Palmer snuggling with me during movies
• Bonding with Addie over three-hour hair styles
• When I showed Palmer that letters made sounds, sounds made words, and words told stories
• Addie losing her first tooth and trying to implement the “Tooth Angel” without making it seem like a creepy lady was breaking into the house at night
• Palmer winning the Triple A Achiever Award for his school
• Teaching the kids to build forts out of blankets and playing hide and seek
• Grandma teaching the kids how to hula-hoop
• Going to the beach as a family

There have been so many special moments and shared laughter. I hope that the next year will be a little less dramatic, but no matter what, we will face it together as a family, with Jesus.

Yep, her hairstyle lasted 3 days. So I had to change it up tonight. She’s going swimming tomorrow, and I didn’t have the three hours of hair time I needed so I threw her hair into some flat twists and called it a night.

What have I gotten myself into!?