Out of the Mouth Come Babes

In the first week of January, we decided to meet with the birth mother of the twins, who was already very large for only being four months pregnant. She told us the story of her husband leaving her to return to Africa, about losing her home in the floods, and about losing her mother in the fall to brain cancer. With so much misfortune in her life, and her age of 44, she could not imagine taking care of twins. She had considered having an abortion, but others in our church had convinced her that someone in the church would adopt her babies, and she was glad to know that it could be Ken and me. She wanted a closed adoption, because she did not want her 5-year-old daughter to find out that she had siblings. We indicated our interest, but knew that we had to think and pray about it, especially since we considering all the other doors that had been opened.

However, over the next few weeks we found the other doors to adoption closing. Most of the children were simply placed in other homes. The social worker overseeing the eight year-old girl we were very interested in scheduled meetings with Ken and I four different times, but always ended up cancelling. Eventually, she stopped returning our e-mails. Within a month, every other adoption door closed.

Still, Ken was unsure about adopting the twins. It was an unusual circumstance to be approached by a birth mother, especially one who was of advanced maternal age. The risk of the twins having birth defects rose to 10% in 44 year old females carrying twins, and he wasn’t sure that we were prepared for caring for special needs infants, especially since both of us work full-time.

I felt differently. I thought that because of my medical training, and God’s guidance, we could certainly parent the twins, no matter what their health. To be given the opportunity to be asked to parent infants was too great to pass up. Sure, it wasn’t what we were originally thinking, but we would be helping this woman who had seen so much misfortune, and helping the twins to be raised in a loving Christian home with a loving church family.

We sought the wisdom of others, who nearly unanimously agreed that it was a wonderful opportunity. I questioned those in our church who knew the birth mom best. Is she legitimate? Do we know her story is true? All agreed that they were certain of her story, and trusted her implicitly. While she was very needy, she was slow to ask for help and always gracious in receiving it. Many in our church had helped her recover from the flood and several loved her dearly. It seemed like a win-win situation.

But Ken was not convinced, so he began to pray for clarity from God. The weekend we knew we were going to decide, Ken went for a walk and prayed that if God wanted us to adopt the twins that I would talk to him about wanting the twins. Not because of a sense of duty, obligation, or pressure from others, but because I wanted them. When Ken returned from the walk, the first thing I said to Ken was, “I want the twins.” And then I proceeded to explain why I wanted the twins and how I believed that if God called us to adopt them that He would give us strength, and provide for us to be able to care for them . . . .

But Ken didn’t need any explanation. When the words “I want the twins” came out of my mouth, he knew that God was speaking.

We decided to adopt the twins.

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